Hey peeps. I began my blog not too long ago and I've written about writing, and heart felt blogs I've read from other people, but I've only given you tidbits of information about me. I analyzed this sentence and tried to figure out how to continue. So, I'll just start by saying I have a bad habit of analyzing things. My pen name is Ariadne Morag. I prefer to go by this name, because for one, it's amazing and two, it's just safer.
It's not like I'm some paranoid delusional who is afraid someone is going to stalk me, but it really is safer, less traceable and I prefer my online presence to have it's own name. Ariadne Morag. A different name from the name I was born with, but i'm still the creative, smiley, loving, expressive and vibrant me! As a small child I was happy as far as I remember. My mom used to say that she would wake up in the middle of the night and find me, at age 2 sitting on the couch, "Playin' da game..." as I used to say.
This is one of my favorite stories about myself as a child. Even now, I love videos games and I can beat guys out the yin yang. My version of the perfect guy is one who can get his butt whooped by a girl and take it like a woman. He doesn't let it bruise his ego. I mean, come on.
That really is stupid. I'm not going to dumb and talent myself down to stroke a mans ego. Forget it!
Back to me playing games, my Mom told me that it was weird seeing a child that young sitting there, so intelligent. I've always been ahead of the crowd in the intelligence department. Not that I'm not lacking in common since or experience in life, as of my young almost 24 years in age. I never had that many friends growing up, because I never felt like I fit in.. sound familiar? This seems to be a common trait among most people.
I was lonely and I felt like the odd ball out even at home.
It wasn't very easy to get past all of that because my Mom didn't even understand me. We are like the soul opposites even, now. Luckily, we've learned to look past that and connect on the most important level, the heart level. We love each other, support each other and are always there for a shoulder to cry on. Not that we do much crying.
Life is happy these days. We live in a nice brick house that is unbelievably affordable. It was fully furnished when we moved in and it even has a dog runner outside for our pets to be hooked up. They only thing that could have made it any better was if it had a fenced in yard, but we are very thankful for the things that we are blessed with. I got Saved in November 2012 and my life has taken a dramatic turn since then externally and internally.
I still get shy on occasion, but I am now able to put myself out there, confident in who I am, pale skin, fluffy gut, slang talkin', lover of blue and green and red lipstick and hair... I have proclaimed myself as an artist as well as a writer. I stopped beating myself up when I realized that if I just accept who I am, flaws and all, and just put myself out there when I want to meet people, then it'll all be OK I've learned that people are not the horrible, pessimistic, evil monsters that I once thought they were. I used to have this high opinion of myself that I was 'smarter' than everyone and that no one could live up to my expectations.
This idea just developed over the years, probably from me being let down so many times and I was convinced that if they'd just done it 'my way', the logical way, that it would have all worked out. That is gone. I no longer place ownership of my happiness on people's effectiveness of living what I thought was a perfect life. I learned that life is imperfect and that it will be that way until I die and go to heaven.
I learned about and now practice compassion, respect, love and I pray for any lingering judgement in my heart to kiss my butt, then disperse, because I am never going to let it rule me again. We are all God's children and I pray for their happiness as well as my own. I have let go of that horrible anger dragon who used to squat in my chest cavity, coiled around my heart waiting for its chance to ignite and create monumental havoc in my every day life. Grr.. Take that dragon! Without trying to sound too hooky, I am one with my body, soul and mind. Now, I love better, I think better, I function better and things just fall in to place for me.
There are rough times and good times. I appreciate even the smallest blessings in life, like: A gentle breeze on a hot humid day, or a trickle of sun light through the kitchen window bringing with it warmth -how it dances on the walls of the glass containers on the counter, or like I told someone today, the sound of a child's laughter.
Life is Grande and God is grander.
*Ps: I call myself a creative enthusiast because it is my deep seeded belief that we are the embodiment of creativity. I live a life to encourage others to let that creativity shine, because it's who we are. It's not the art that defines us, it's us who defines the art. In each piece is the very essence of You. Read This Post.
**I pray for an abundance of happiness and love and blessings in your life friends.
Until next time,
Ariadne Morag
This is one of my favorite stories about myself as a child. Even now, I love videos games and I can beat guys out the yin yang. My version of the perfect guy is one who can get his butt whooped by a girl and take it like a woman. He doesn't let it bruise his ego. I mean, come on.
That really is stupid. I'm not going to dumb and talent myself down to stroke a mans ego. Forget it!
Back to me playing games, my Mom told me that it was weird seeing a child that young sitting there, so intelligent. I've always been ahead of the crowd in the intelligence department. Not that I'm not lacking in common since or experience in life, as of my young almost 24 years in age. I never had that many friends growing up, because I never felt like I fit in.. sound familiar? This seems to be a common trait among most people.
I was lonely and I felt like the odd ball out even at home.
It wasn't very easy to get past all of that because my Mom didn't even understand me. We are like the soul opposites even, now. Luckily, we've learned to look past that and connect on the most important level, the heart level. We love each other, support each other and are always there for a shoulder to cry on. Not that we do much crying.
Life is happy these days. We live in a nice brick house that is unbelievably affordable. It was fully furnished when we moved in and it even has a dog runner outside for our pets to be hooked up. They only thing that could have made it any better was if it had a fenced in yard, but we are very thankful for the things that we are blessed with. I got Saved in November 2012 and my life has taken a dramatic turn since then externally and internally.
I still get shy on occasion, but I am now able to put myself out there, confident in who I am, pale skin, fluffy gut, slang talkin', lover of blue and green and red lipstick and hair... I have proclaimed myself as an artist as well as a writer. I stopped beating myself up when I realized that if I just accept who I am, flaws and all, and just put myself out there when I want to meet people, then it'll all be OK I've learned that people are not the horrible, pessimistic, evil monsters that I once thought they were. I used to have this high opinion of myself that I was 'smarter' than everyone and that no one could live up to my expectations.
This idea just developed over the years, probably from me being let down so many times and I was convinced that if they'd just done it 'my way', the logical way, that it would have all worked out. That is gone. I no longer place ownership of my happiness on people's effectiveness of living what I thought was a perfect life. I learned that life is imperfect and that it will be that way until I die and go to heaven.
I learned about and now practice compassion, respect, love and I pray for any lingering judgement in my heart to kiss my butt, then disperse, because I am never going to let it rule me again. We are all God's children and I pray for their happiness as well as my own. I have let go of that horrible anger dragon who used to squat in my chest cavity, coiled around my heart waiting for its chance to ignite and create monumental havoc in my every day life. Grr.. Take that dragon! Without trying to sound too hooky, I am one with my body, soul and mind. Now, I love better, I think better, I function better and things just fall in to place for me.
There are rough times and good times. I appreciate even the smallest blessings in life, like: A gentle breeze on a hot humid day, or a trickle of sun light through the kitchen window bringing with it warmth -how it dances on the walls of the glass containers on the counter, or like I told someone today, the sound of a child's laughter.
Life is Grande and God is grander.
*Ps: I call myself a creative enthusiast because it is my deep seeded belief that we are the embodiment of creativity. I live a life to encourage others to let that creativity shine, because it's who we are. It's not the art that defines us, it's us who defines the art. In each piece is the very essence of You. Read This Post.
**I pray for an abundance of happiness and love and blessings in your life friends.
Until next time,
Ariadne Morag
RSS Feed